I’ve had the pleasure of meeting my next Friday Featured Author at a business meeting. Her book concept is super unique, and every person who desires to get married should read this book BEFORE saying I do with their spouse. In her new book, Disclose Before Your Disrobe, Rita F. Oliver shares some practical advice that will help you prevent ending your marriage over a lack of coins.
When we start new relationships, we rarely bring up money management. We’re so focused on the feeling of being in love, the wedding, reception, and honeymoon that we skip over the most important aspect of two people joining their lives together: money. While love often times lead to marriage, money can turn the marriage upside down if it’s not flowing in the way both people expect for it to. Many of us avoid talking about our past money mindset and actions, and then end up having money management problems within our marriage.
As Rita states, we all have our life story, but as we move in life, fall in love, and decide to make a lifetime commitment to that special someone, for some reason our past relationships and our past money mindset, behavior and actions present themselves in our new relationships. Marriage is a huge commitment and a financial commitment. Many people today are getting married for the first time and even the third time, walking down the aisle and saying “I do” without discussing each person’s financial matters. The reason being is that money is considered a taboo subject that makes everyone vulnerable. Money shows actions, habits, and behaviors.
Rita believes that the Money Discussion aka the “Disclosure Meeting”, is just as important as or more important than deciding on the wedding venue, the cake, the church, etc. Everyone has many experiences with their money, through trial and error, in debt, out of debt, bankruptcy, credit cards, student loans, savings, etc. What needs to be understood is “MONEY” is present in everything we do and more critical to live comfortably and securely for today and tomorrow.
Knowledge is power, and this book will give you a detailed listing of what each person should bring to the disclosure meeting before you say, “I do”. Also, this book has questions to facilitate the discussion with you and your future spouse to end your meetings with results and actions. Keep in mind, the disclosure meetings are continual meeting(s) where you are to be open, honest and communication is “transparent”, which is a solid foundation for your relationship and your household finances. I know you are thinking, why do we need to bring this up now? You can’t be serious. Yes, I am serious. This the perfect time. Haven’t you heard the saying “timing is everything”? So, the time is now at the commitment point in your relationship. Yes, honest, open, non-judgmental conversations are needed to show and tell each other what you are bringing to the marriage when it comes to how you have or have not managed your money, (assets, debt), money mindset, habits and legal obligations that will impact your monthly household.